Fiction Story

This is my first time ever writing a fiction story, and for that matter any story. So help me GOD!!! Read on and your views or comments would be appreciated.

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Chapter 11

The voice sounded rather lazy and distort as if woken up from sleep. Asben looked at the watch it was only 10.30pm, what kinda guy goes to sleep at this hour he thought but he carried on with his conversation. "Hello there" "this is Asben, a friend of Ashmi" he introduced himself, and suddenly as if someone had poured some chilling water to his face Sammy came to his full senses " Yes, Hello there, so nice of you to call me" " Your friend saw my message?" Asben replied positive, to which Sammy asked "Is she around, can i talk to her?" Asben was a bit apprehensive about it and lied to him about her presence.

Sammy was awestruck to recieve this call. He never had expected it, though he gave his best shot. But now this was it, if today he didnt get to talk to her, he thought he never will. So he requested Asben to connect him to her and said he didnt have any dirty cards up his sleeve to play with her. Somehow Asben believed him and passed the phone to Ashmi.

Ashmi wasnt ready for it. She kept staring at the phone and didnt know what to say. She gathered her distraught nerves and managed a "Hello". And the magic started from there. The voice she heard was something she would remember her whole life. Sammy said " Hello, Ashmi!" His voice mixed with love, gratitude & passion just kept on ringing in her ears.

To Be Continued........

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I cant believe that you can get stuck at this point!

To tell the truth, it began like a typical story about a love lorn guy getting a second chance at life...
I dont know if it will have a typical ending too...
I mean, every one is born and every one dies and most things that happen in between are also a salad of this and that... and those ingredients are also used by others.. after all we only have finite set of things to choose from...
But, even if the recipie is the same and the ingredients are the same, one can easily identify the hand that cooked it... now there is the magic isnt it? :)

There are a lot of unanswered questions, I dont know how you are unable to proceed... choose the one s that "sound" best to you.. Since it is your own novel, i dont want to give suggestions.

I felt that it moved faster than most novels and it is far longer than short stories... It goes fast like a movie.. perhaps it is the right version of a novel for a blog... not too many details to lose oneself... It might have been too much to bear, sitting online :)

All the best!!

PS: I will visit back once in a while... and if something else comes to my mind about the existing chapters or possible new ones, i will let you have a piece of my mind ;)

Cheers Mayt!

1:33 AM  
Blogger sanjay jha said...

nameste.
cheer up,looking forward to more.
very interesting and it should be continued...
cheers.
jhaji.

http://jhaji-jhaji.blogspot.com/

10:20 PM  

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